Male chastity is on the rise. With results ranging from heightened sexual pleasure to strengthened relationships, men are becoming increasingly curious about this misunderstood taboo.
Is it possible to become a sexually heightened being by denying, or being denied, sexual pleasure? Yes. At least that’s what we’ve gathered from the positive reviews we receive daily here at CBFM.
I have included some popular questions and male chastity stories below:
- Miranda, California, USA, Age 22
There are two main types of chastity devices for men: the belt variety (Tollyboy, Access Denied, etc.) and the cage variety (CB-6000, Birdcage, etc). Because of their lower cost, general ease of you, and comfort, I generally recommend one of the cage varieties to couple wanting to begin incorporating male chastity into their relationship. The CB-6000 is hard to beat as it is generally just as secure as a belt variety chastity device. I’ve also had my fiance invest in a Tollyboy variety belt. We use the CB-6000 for the most part, but I do like the way he looks in Tolly boy metal underwear.
ChastityBeltForMen.com has a great selection of CB devices when you’re ready to purchase.
“I bought a CB-6000 for my guy two weeks ago. I’ve already noticed positive changes in his attitude. My question is, how should I give him his weekly release? Is there a special way?
- Freija, Chicago, Illinois, Age 29
In short, there is no special way to achieve this. You can have sexual intercourse with him, you can give him oral sex, or you can bring him to ejaculation with your hand. If he’s behaved very well, bring him to orgasm in the way he likes best. If there are black marks on his record that week, do it in what way you enjoy most. There are, however, three things you should keep in mind:
a) Don’t allow him access to his penis with his hands. If you plan on teasing for awhile, or leaving him
unattanded for even a few seconds, tie his hands. If you are there to supervise, explain to him that if he touches himself, you’ll tie his hands. We want you to be the only one with the power to pleasure his penis.
b) It’s best to leave him locked up until you’re ready to give him the orgasm. He doesn’t need to be freed to get worked up.
c) Replace the chastity device immediately after giving him an orgasm.
“I’ve tried to get my girlfriend interested in keeping me locked up. Everytime I bring up the subject she shys away. She tells me she thinks its too weird and doesn’t want to do it. Help!”
- Stephen, Sydney, Australia, Age 24
First of all, don’t force the issue with her, it’ll just make her feel more uncomfortable. She feels this way because she hasn’t been exposed to the idea before and thinks it to be and odd and weird request from you. What can you do? Gently encourage her to read this guide. Also, show her some of the variety of male chastity resources on the net. Once she sees just how many thousands of couples are using male chastity devices as a way to enhance their relationships, she might change her mind. Explain to her that she has nothing to lose by giving it a try and ask if she would be willing to try for a trial period (one month might be a good duration).
A recent article in the New York Times (March 4 , 2000 edition – see website) stated that male chastity device sales have shot up dramatically over the last two years. In 1999, an estimated half million male chastity devices were sold. Clearly, the idea is catching on.
“I bought my boyfriend a CB-6000 for his birthday two months ago. So far, we both love using it (me more than him I think .. hehe)! What I am still unsure about is in what behaviour I should feel justified in punishing by increasing his wait. He says its very challenging for him to wait an entire week for an orgasm. I don’t want to make it tougher for him than I have to and he has gotten so much more responsive and caring towards me since we started using it. But he really makes me mad sometimes when he ‘forgets’ to call me, or spends his time playing computer games instead of with me. What do you think?
- Tina, Toronto, Ontario, Age 26
Well, Tina, throw any guilt you’re feeling out the door! As your man’s keyholder, you have every right to use your authority to curb the behaviours in him that make you unhappy. Just a few extra days added to his wait will have a huge impact on him – he’ll learn that although he can forget phone calls and spend free time playing computer games when you feel neglected, they’ll come at a cost. Let his penis argue with him and you’ll soon find those behaviours coming to an end.
When he’s behaving improperly, approach him with something like this:
“I’m not happy with the fact that you didn’t call me when you said you would. I’ve decided to make you wait an extra two days for every missed phone call. I really like to talk to you on the phone … do you think you can be more dependable in returning calls?”
“You know how much I like spending time with you. And I’m getting a little bit irritated at all the time you spend playing computer games when you could be with me. I’d appreciate it if you could limit your playing time to one day a week. I’m going to have you wait an extra week without being unlocked for every day more than one that you play games when you could be spending time with me. Can you do this for me?”
If he’s at all resistant to accepting your decisions, tell him that although you’ll be very disappointed, you will give him the keys to his belt and not accept them back for good.
He’ll come around.
“Hi Tanya! Thank you ever so much for introducing my fiance and I to this wonderful relationship tool! My man has never been so loving and caring and I’ve never been so sexually satisfied. I get more oral sex in a day than many women do in a month and I’ve even taught him how exactly to use a dildo on me. And he seems to love it just as much as I do. He says his orgasms are so much better after having to wait for them and having to earn them and he says it drives him insane with frustration (which he loves) that I don’t let him touch his own penis. One thing I have noticed, though, is that his behaviour kind of hits bottom again for the first few days after I give him an orgasm. What I’d like to try is to increase his wait to more than a week. How long is too long?”
-Mindy, Location Unknown, Age 28
Good idea, Mindy.
The best way to determine the answer to this is by trial and error. The trick is to increase his wait time slowly. Make it ten days. If he asks why, simply explain to him that you love the way he behaves under lock and key and want to maximize your happiness. Do this for a couple of months, then increase it to two weeks. See how this goes and continue to increase it as long as he doesn’t start getting snappy or irritable with it. Over the last three years, I’ve worked my fiance up to a three week schedule (though I still occasionally unlock him after two weeks if his behaviour has been exemplary). I’ve also heard from many ladies that have their men on monthly (or longer) schedules. Really, the only upper limit is what you find works best.
“I’ve been keeping my boyfriend in a CB-6000 for a little over a year now. Everything has gone great with it to date. I take off the CB once a week and he’s ready for a good time. Two days ago, I caught him surfing pornographic websites on the net. This is after I’ve told him repeatedly that I didn’t want him looking at porn. I told him that I would make him wait a month from that day for his next orgasm. He says that making him wait that long could cause damage to his testicles or prostrate. Is this true?”
- Debbie, England, Age 20
No, Debbie, this is not true. The male’s body has its own way of dealing with an over abundance of stored up semen. After a certain point, the male will experience a wet dream which will alleviate any build up and keep his ejaculatory system functioning properly. Keep to your pledge of making him wait a month. I doubt you’ll find him surfing porn again.
“My girlfriend agreed to give chastity for me a try in our relationship about two months ago. The problem is, she show’s little interest in regulating my orgasms. She pretty much lets me out whenever I ask it and lets me do what I like while I’m out. I very much want her to control this aspect of me and make me a better boyfriend for her. What should I do?”
- Ivan, Vancouver, BC, Age 25
I would suggest that you help her realize the impact that keeping you on a schedule has. Go a full week without asking her for release. Near the end of the week, make extra effort to coddle her – treat her like a princess. Keep this up until she recognizes the pattern and decides that it’ll make both of you happier if she’s more restrictive about your releases. Good luck!
“Hi Tanya. I’m really excited about the idea of keeping my boyfriend in a chastity belt. The problem is, I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting that I want him kept in one. He’s already more kind, sweet, caring, and attentive than any other guy I’ve been with. How can I convince him to try it without making him feel like he needs to improve?”
- Lisa, Location Unknown, Age Unknown
Here’s what I would do, Lisa. Talk to him about the benefits of chastity. Tell him that you love the way he treats you and don’t want it to ever change so you’d like to try keeping him locked. Make it seem fun and exciting. If he is indeed the sweet man you’ve described, he’ll have no trouble giving it a try.
“I’ve been holding the keys to my fiance’s CB-6000 for six months now. For the most part, I love it .. it’s turned him into a regular Romeo. The problem is, once in awhile, after I’ve gotten him very excited and not allowed him release, he’ll make a comment like “it’s pretty selfish of you to get all that pleasure and give me any” or “why should you get to cum so many times and me so little”. I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to guilt me into giving him early release, but it still makes me feel kind of selfish, you know? What do you think?”
- Tara, Ohio, Age 26
Don’t feel selfish at all, Tara. Look at it this way. You can continue to be happy with your ‘Romeo’ and, in turn, be a solid, supportive, loving mate in return – making him happy for the long term. Or, you can give in to your man’s boyish need for the short term comfort of his orgasm and lose all the benefits that his chastity has brought you. Which is better for you? Obviously, keeping your Romeo. Which is better for him? Short term relief? Or long term happiness? You’ve given him the greatest gift a woman could give a man – you’ve ensured that he’ll keep you happy and in doing so, guaranteed a long, happy relationship.
What to do about the comments? Say something like this, and speak firmly but sympathetically: “I’m sorry you feel that way, honey. You’ve made me so happy while I’ve kept you locked up. I know how guys can get and I don’t ever want to risk that you could get that way. I’m so proud of you – you’ve been doing so well. But, if it will make you happy, you no longer have to lick me or play with me.”
Chances are, he’ll melt right there and apologize for saying what he did.
If the comments resurface again after that, explain to him that you’ve already talked to him about it and are prepared to start giving him extra days without relief for saying such hurtful things.
“I’m being torn here. I love keeping my Tony in a chastity belt. But I also love penetrative sex! It feels like I’m keeping myself chaste by keeping him chaste! What should I do?”
- Sally, Venice, Italy, Age 30
Most women will admit that a properly used dildo/vibrator is better than the real deal. This is the perfect opportunity for you to teach him precisely how to please you using one. If it’s the action of sexual intercourse itself that you love, buy Tony a strap-on dildo to use on you.
Have you taught him to properly bring you to orgasms with his tongue? If not, you can give that a try too. Good luck!
“I’ve been keeping my boyfriend’s penis under lock and key for 2 months. I must admit, I love it! And despite the misgivings I had about it actually pissing him off, he’s expressed to me that he likes it too. I’m going to keep him like this forever. =) One question. He keeps asking me to remove the belt and stroke him. He says he misses having contact with his penis. And he also promises that he won’t cum. Should I do this for him? Maybe as a reward for good behaviour in between his scheduled orgasms?”
- Tammy, Calgary, Alberta, Age 19
This is a great idea for a short term reward, Tammy. My own fiance, Todd, has expressed to me that he so much more appreciates having his penis touched now that its kept under lock and key – even if he isn’t allowed to ejaculate. It’s also a great opportunity to talk to him about any issues you have. What I normally do is cuff Todd’s hands behind him, and have him go down on me until I’m satisfied. When he’s finished, I’ll remove his chastity device and have him sit next to me (usually on the couch). I’ll reach over and slowly and gently start pumping his penis (after warning him that he’d better not ejaculate). At this point, he’s truly like putty in your hands. Talk to him about issues. Ask him for something. If his responses please you, then pump his a little bit faster, if they don’t, slow down. You’ll be amazed how wonderfully agreeable he will be. When he starts getting too worked up, I’ll let go and let him cool down for awhile, then ask him if he’d like some more. Usually he says yes, and I’ll go through another cycle. I limit it to two cycles.
A word of caution, however. Make sure his hands are restrained during these sessions. Once he gets worked up, he’ll grab his penis and finish the job no matter what you say.
The opinions expressed in this guide are solely her own and not meant to be taken as professional advice.